Seeing life through green eyes when mine are blue

It has been quite an eventful week for me, I am pleased to say, as now I am off my medication, I can see things far more clearly and appreciate their true meaning and worth.

Biggest moment for me has been a four hour conversation with my daughter, who many of you know, has been missing in my life since Easter. It is not a case of her running back into her father's open arms but it was dialogue and mostly of a friendly and loving nature. She also sent me a photograph which made me see how much she has grown up without me in the last 6 months. If she chooses to read this blog, all I can say to her is that I love you and I am sorry for any of my wrong doings.

In other news, I have recently received some lovely books from equally lovely friends. I never name names on my blogs (well occasionally) but they know who they are and I want to let them know how much I appreciate the books and their friendships. It is the little tokens of giving and taking that keep me going, although I do know that not everyone needs those tokens to know how much they mean to me.

Another dear friend, who I will definately not name lost her mother this week, after an illness. She knows that my heart is with her and that I will be there if and when she needs. It is all anyone can offer. xx

I have a couple of other friends who are going through major issues in their lives and by looking through their eyes, it helps me understand that we all have to face difficult decisions and scenarios and all we can hope to do is come through it and hope we have the support and friendships to help us carry on. Again, they know that my friendship and support and new found energy is theirs for the taking. xx

I spent a couple of lovely days away by the sea, even taking in a beautiful sunset into the water that has revitalised my inner energy and have the chance to go back for a couple of days :)

I made a really bad decision on Friday evening. After getting my hair cut and seeing the greyness of my hair as it flopped to the floor,  I decided to do something about it. Now at 46, educated and pretty self confident, you would think I would know better. But a little voice inside me said, "you have spent the last three weeks making yourself feel better without the pain relief medication, now is the time for doing something to the outside of your body" I wish the little voice had been still floating around in opiates !! I opted for a 'light brown' the colour my hair used to be. I followed the instruction to the letter, even setting an alarm for the rinse off reminder. I stood in the shower and let it run clear. I towel dried it. I looked in the mirror and instead of seeing me as of ten years ago, what I saw was a 46 year old fool with what looked like a tin of shoe polish smeared over his hair!! There will be no photo's of this and I can only apologise to the friends I do see over the next 6 weeks, I will wear a hat if it helps :))