Just for something a a little different, I want to share with you an experience from 8 years ago. It is a true account of what happened and has not been embelished or added to in any way.
The local Mental Health team who were in the office next to ours, set up an out of hours service for people in the community in crisis. They were looking for people to man the 'evening' office who would patch through to professionals who were out and about and could call in on the person in crisis.
I agreed to do the Thursday and Friday evenings, as I could do with the extra cash, and as such, was office based with a different person on each of the evenings.
Anyway, about 4 weeks in to this arrangement, I was on one of the phones to someone who was having a few problems, while my colleague was on the other phone talking to an old dear who was struggling with being out of hospital and back in her own home.
We arranged for the Social Worker who was out and about to call in on both of them, job done, no problems. Next evening, on with a different colleague and a different Social Worker. Similar thing happens, only this time, I am making coffee when my colleague gets a very tearful call from said old lady again. Very upset and wanted to see the nice Social Worker again. My colleague explained it was someone else on duty but that we would get them to drop by. Again, problem solved.
The office was closed on the Saturday and Sunday and on the Monday morning I went in to Child Protection as per usual. Just before 11, I got a call from the manager of the Mental Health Team to ask if I could spare 15 minutes. I went through and in to a meeting with the two colleagues I had worked with and the two Social Workers who were out in the community, plus their boss.
We were asked about the phone calls and visits to the afore mentioned old lady and we each gave our version of the events on the Thursday and Friday night. All of us gave our accounts and apart from the second Social Worker admitting they stayed a little longer because they felt she deserved a bit more company, they were all pretty much the same.
The senior Social Worker explained that she had received a phone call from the old lady's daughter that morning, asking why her staff were going in to her mother's house on the Thursday and Friday evening as her mother had died on the Wednesday !!!
True story.
Thursday 31 October 2013
Wednesday 30 October 2013
Christmas Chocolate Orders
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Handmade Chocolates for Christmas
Just in time for Christmas we are
bringing out a new range of chocolates which include Cranberry, Mulled Wine,
and the Nutmeg & Peel.
They are the perfect
after dinner chocolate and are designed to melt in your mouth
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Code: 20-71-03
Sunday 27 October 2013
Psst, Can you keep a secret
One of the biggest problems of living with terminal illness is knowing who to say what to. I am constantly battling with myself as to what to say, when people get in touch with me and ask how I am? They are just being good friends and their concern is appreciated, however it is also a burden on my ability to keep my own counsel. If I am having a bad day pain wise, just say, and I am asked by three people over the course of the day how I am, I have to think, who is asking me, how much can I tell them, how much can they actually take? After all, it is not as if they are just round the corner, or across the road, they are usually hundreds of miles away. Quite often, I am left with the default, "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" That way, they have fulfilled their friends bit by asking and I have protected them by giving a neutral answer.
Then I might get a text message or a call. What have you had to eat today David? Before I know it, I have thought about everything that might be going on with the person who is asking and I have had a five course banquet. I then spend the next 24 hours worrying that I have mislead, albeit because I have had to make an educated decision as to whether it is better to keep the secret that I may have just managed some fruit. And heaven forbid if someone asks me about feelings or emotions!!
Enough of that, you get the idea.
Update on my wish to get a portrait and laptop for my daughter for Christmas is that a lovely artist now has in his possession two recent photographs and a request to make me handsome!! Still looking at laptops but need to sell my Christmas chocolates first to be able to do so. Have gone for £5.75 a box plus £3 postage, which I know could buy you a big tin of Roses/Quality Street but you will not get these flavours or purity of chocolate. Remember, my chocolates have no added sugars or preservatives and are meant as a bit of a luxury. Also, buying a tin of Celebrations (and yes, I do like them) does not help me get my daughter her last ever Christmas present from me (sorry if that sounds emotional blackmail :( ...)
Exciting chocolate news in the form of doing a chocolate tasting along with Homeless Beanies UK on the 5th December in Bradford. For full details of the evening, of which I am only a small cog, you are best contacting @HomelessBeaniesUK , who now have their own exclusive chocolates.
I am organising two lunches as well at the moment, one with my lovely Irish and London based friends and then one with the Yorkshire crew. Both of these groups have been so supportive of me and this blog and it will be so nice to spend some actual time with them.
Want to finish this off with a massive thank you to the people I keep the secrets from. I could not manage each day without you. You know what you do for me but of course, I am sworn to secrecy :)
Then I might get a text message or a call. What have you had to eat today David? Before I know it, I have thought about everything that might be going on with the person who is asking and I have had a five course banquet. I then spend the next 24 hours worrying that I have mislead, albeit because I have had to make an educated decision as to whether it is better to keep the secret that I may have just managed some fruit. And heaven forbid if someone asks me about feelings or emotions!!
Enough of that, you get the idea.
Update on my wish to get a portrait and laptop for my daughter for Christmas is that a lovely artist now has in his possession two recent photographs and a request to make me handsome!! Still looking at laptops but need to sell my Christmas chocolates first to be able to do so. Have gone for £5.75 a box plus £3 postage, which I know could buy you a big tin of Roses/Quality Street but you will not get these flavours or purity of chocolate. Remember, my chocolates have no added sugars or preservatives and are meant as a bit of a luxury. Also, buying a tin of Celebrations (and yes, I do like them) does not help me get my daughter her last ever Christmas present from me (sorry if that sounds emotional blackmail :( ...)
Exciting chocolate news in the form of doing a chocolate tasting along with Homeless Beanies UK on the 5th December in Bradford. For full details of the evening, of which I am only a small cog, you are best contacting @HomelessBeaniesUK , who now have their own exclusive chocolates.
I am organising two lunches as well at the moment, one with my lovely Irish and London based friends and then one with the Yorkshire crew. Both of these groups have been so supportive of me and this blog and it will be so nice to spend some actual time with them.
Want to finish this off with a massive thank you to the people I keep the secrets from. I could not manage each day without you. You know what you do for me but of course, I am sworn to secrecy :)
Sunday 20 October 2013
They Shoot Horses Don't They?
Those of us of a certain age, will remember this film, starring Jane Fonda, set at a Marathon Dance. For those of you too young to have seen it, may I be bold in suggesting you give it a go? The overall sentiment of it is of course very poignant to me and although I could not claim it to be in my top 100 films it does however deal with the whole subject of when life can become too much. And no, it does not mean I am at that stage, yet. I have always loved Cherry Blossom time of Spring and plan to see it again.
I have had occasion over this last week to feel very humbled by one or two peoples private offers of help, if I need it. Never let it be said that you cannot find true friendship on a Social Network site because I am living proof that it does happen. I will never name them, as they made the offers in private but they know who they are and what they offered. As I said, humbled and thankful for having them as friends. I have also arranged three lunches with friends I have met on line and plan to honour them, as it may be the only opportunity. I also have numerous friends who take it upon themselves to check I am okay and keeping a smile on my face.
I have also been asked by one or two people questions that I unfortunately do not have the answer to. All I can say is that when something does happen to me, measures have been put in place to ensure everyone knows, yet another task that befalls my best friend, bless her. One of the questions I am regularly asked is where do I think the cancer originated? Given that it emanates from the Pancreas, the biggest indicator is lifestyle. During my prime years, working late nights, drinking fizzy drinks full of aspartame and yes, smoking and drinking far too much coffee at ungodly hours. Add to that, the increase in processed foods and you can quickly see how I let my body become a battle ground. Do yourselves a favour, look at the chemicals you are putting in to your bodies, aspartame is very scary and if you are a man, lay off the Soy based milks and foods.
My final two tasters have been selected for the Christmas chocolates have been finally selected (had over 200 applicants) and they will receive their chocolates this week and depending on their reports back to me, the chocolates will be available to be purchased from the first week of November. They taste of Christmas and are made of only natural ingredients with no added sugars or preservatives. Yes, you could buy a tin of Roses for the same price and I will be as well, but these are special and as I have already said, the profits from which will go to me buying my daughter her last ever Christmas presents from me.
I have decided on two things for her. Firstly a laptop that will see her through 6th form and college, especially as the old one she had has recently blown up. The second thing is a portrait of me and her. I plan to ask an artist to put together something nice, based on a photograph of each of us. I hope she will like both equally and it is my motivation to keep going and do something positive with the skills I still possess.
As well as the Christmas Chocolates, I last night negotiated a range of chocolates for a particular organisation, who will be revealed in the next few days hopefully. I have made them their own chocolate, with their own unique flavour, chosen by them and I have to say, they are amazing and like nothing on the market today. Also looking at doing something quite exciting with them, while I still have some energy, before Christmas. And no, I am not playing Santa !!
Thank you to those of you that took part in my little experiment last week. I had reports back from quite a few people and they have independently told me of their experiences, which is very heart warming and further endorses my belief in healing xx
I have had occasion over this last week to feel very humbled by one or two peoples private offers of help, if I need it. Never let it be said that you cannot find true friendship on a Social Network site because I am living proof that it does happen. I will never name them, as they made the offers in private but they know who they are and what they offered. As I said, humbled and thankful for having them as friends. I have also arranged three lunches with friends I have met on line and plan to honour them, as it may be the only opportunity. I also have numerous friends who take it upon themselves to check I am okay and keeping a smile on my face.
I have also been asked by one or two people questions that I unfortunately do not have the answer to. All I can say is that when something does happen to me, measures have been put in place to ensure everyone knows, yet another task that befalls my best friend, bless her. One of the questions I am regularly asked is where do I think the cancer originated? Given that it emanates from the Pancreas, the biggest indicator is lifestyle. During my prime years, working late nights, drinking fizzy drinks full of aspartame and yes, smoking and drinking far too much coffee at ungodly hours. Add to that, the increase in processed foods and you can quickly see how I let my body become a battle ground. Do yourselves a favour, look at the chemicals you are putting in to your bodies, aspartame is very scary and if you are a man, lay off the Soy based milks and foods.
My final two tasters have been selected for the Christmas chocolates have been finally selected (had over 200 applicants) and they will receive their chocolates this week and depending on their reports back to me, the chocolates will be available to be purchased from the first week of November. They taste of Christmas and are made of only natural ingredients with no added sugars or preservatives. Yes, you could buy a tin of Roses for the same price and I will be as well, but these are special and as I have already said, the profits from which will go to me buying my daughter her last ever Christmas presents from me.
I have decided on two things for her. Firstly a laptop that will see her through 6th form and college, especially as the old one she had has recently blown up. The second thing is a portrait of me and her. I plan to ask an artist to put together something nice, based on a photograph of each of us. I hope she will like both equally and it is my motivation to keep going and do something positive with the skills I still possess.
As well as the Christmas Chocolates, I last night negotiated a range of chocolates for a particular organisation, who will be revealed in the next few days hopefully. I have made them their own chocolate, with their own unique flavour, chosen by them and I have to say, they are amazing and like nothing on the market today. Also looking at doing something quite exciting with them, while I still have some energy, before Christmas. And no, I am not playing Santa !!
Thank you to those of you that took part in my little experiment last week. I had reports back from quite a few people and they have independently told me of their experiences, which is very heart warming and further endorses my belief in healing xx
Sunday 13 October 2013
It proves it is all working
Before i begin my usual update on how things are going, just want to say that the winner of my first blog competition was chosen at random this morning. Sarah Ash has now become an official taster for my Tastes of Christmas range of chocolates, which are available to order from bonfire night. I will be choosing another taster at random, next Sunday morning, all you have to do is read and RT this blog to be in with the chance (had 147 RT's last week) and would like to double that.
As I have said, this year, the profits from the chocolates are going to buying my daughter the last Christmas present I will be able to get her, so please, spread the word and yes, the chocolates are hand made, contain no preservatives or sugars and really do taste of Christmas.
I know you can buy a tin of Roses or Celebrations and I will be too but these are special, after dinner chocolates and did I say they TASTE of Christmas :)
And now for the boring update bit :)
This week has been a bit tough really as I have been suffering with a bit of an upset tummy and a few nose bleeds. It could be a bug but obviously in my condition, every ailment is viewed with massive suspicion. I do have my blood tests due (it is the only thing I am using my doctors for) so it should pick up whatever the problem is. The main problem for me though is the fact that to go shopping, I have to walk or if I can, catch a bus, neither of which are perfect with an upset tummy and feeling a little weak on my legs but still needed. it is amazing what we take for granted but even walking to the nearest shop takes planning and of course, i cannot carry much.
Despite that though, I have managed to get away this week for a bit of sea air, been to the cinema (with only one loo break) and for two treatments. I cannot just stop and give in to it all and refuse to stop dancing with each day.
I have also been asked why I moved to an area where I was so isolated. Simple truth, if I had not moved when I did, thank to my best friend, I would not have seen the summer. I needed the fresh air and the exercise that comes with the isolation. Now summer is well and truly behind us, I need to carry on that regime, no matter the weather, or I may as well give in now.
On a positive note, after a two week period of not speaking, my daughter got in touch again today to show me her preparations for her halloween party :)
Finally, I want to try an experiment this week. At 7.30 pm on Thursday, I want all of my friends and readers to put out their right hand, palm facing the floor, for 2 minutes. I then want you to let me know what you feel. Might sound daft but to me, it will prove that something is working.
As I have said, this year, the profits from the chocolates are going to buying my daughter the last Christmas present I will be able to get her, so please, spread the word and yes, the chocolates are hand made, contain no preservatives or sugars and really do taste of Christmas.
I know you can buy a tin of Roses or Celebrations and I will be too but these are special, after dinner chocolates and did I say they TASTE of Christmas :)
And now for the boring update bit :)
This week has been a bit tough really as I have been suffering with a bit of an upset tummy and a few nose bleeds. It could be a bug but obviously in my condition, every ailment is viewed with massive suspicion. I do have my blood tests due (it is the only thing I am using my doctors for) so it should pick up whatever the problem is. The main problem for me though is the fact that to go shopping, I have to walk or if I can, catch a bus, neither of which are perfect with an upset tummy and feeling a little weak on my legs but still needed. it is amazing what we take for granted but even walking to the nearest shop takes planning and of course, i cannot carry much.
Despite that though, I have managed to get away this week for a bit of sea air, been to the cinema (with only one loo break) and for two treatments. I cannot just stop and give in to it all and refuse to stop dancing with each day.
I have also been asked why I moved to an area where I was so isolated. Simple truth, if I had not moved when I did, thank to my best friend, I would not have seen the summer. I needed the fresh air and the exercise that comes with the isolation. Now summer is well and truly behind us, I need to carry on that regime, no matter the weather, or I may as well give in now.
On a positive note, after a two week period of not speaking, my daughter got in touch again today to show me her preparations for her halloween party :)
Finally, I want to try an experiment this week. At 7.30 pm on Thursday, I want all of my friends and readers to put out their right hand, palm facing the floor, for 2 minutes. I then want you to let me know what you feel. Might sound daft but to me, it will prove that something is working.
Sunday 6 October 2013
If this is the beginning of the end, where do I get off
So many things have happened over this last week, both good and bad, that I am almost struggling to know where to begin.
I suppose the easiest beginning is with a thank you to all of you you who take the time to read, pass on and indeed message me about my blog. It is extremely humbling to have people contact me and say it provoked something in them, or that they could relate to it. I have spent too many years hiding from myself and others, through fear of hurting them or being hurt myself, so it is nice to get my ramblings out there and share my identity.
I have now reached week 7 of no medication, a choice that I made as what I felt was best for me and one that will allow me to die with a little dignity when the time arrives. I know that for some people, it would never be the right choice and I totally respect their decision to continue with medication. They will hopefully, if terminal, be surrounded by the people they love and who love them, either in their own home or hospice and it will happen peacefully. Mine will be different and again, it is my choice to make and make it I will.
The alternative therapies are going nicely, with reflexology, aromatherapy, Reiki and magnets all being used to their full effect. I did not go back to pilates, not because I did not like it but I can not bring myself to do it in a group situation. Hopefully, I may find one to one sessions. Even with the alternative therapies, I have had some issues this week that made me want to go back on my decision, but only for five minutes. If I get a headache or any other pain or ailment, the moment I reach for a codeine or paracetamol, my body will immediately crave something stronger, which is something I am not willing to do.
Physical pain is almost manageable, just, but the stress a family, particularly a very uncaring and disjointed one can bring upon you, is far worse, as it rips in to open wounds like salt. I unfortunately experienced that again in this last week with my younger brother and mother trying to interfere. I wish I could say it was out of love but know full well it is about my will and future plans for my daughter. The prodigal son, otherwise known as 'Golden Child' has not bothered for 5 years, so why now???
Enough of the whinging, I hear you cry, and I agree. There are far too many positives that I can take from each day, to allow myself to be dragged down to the depths they want me at.
Like, made the first taster batch of Christmas chocolates. They will be sent to my chosen tasters on Monday for approval and all being well, will be available for purchase around the first week of November onwards.
Like, being able to spend quality time with people that I want in my life, although not unfortunately all of them but not through lack of want on either part, just time and life can get in the way.
Like having so many caring friends on here, who help far more than they probably realise.
Like, getting others to dance with their day and appreciate it only ever comes round once.
I apologise for the family vent of hurt and frustration and promise to keep it off my blog from this point on. Hope it does not deflect too much from anything else I have said here and that you will not all abandon the blog. I appreciate and value your participation.
David xxx
I suppose the easiest beginning is with a thank you to all of you you who take the time to read, pass on and indeed message me about my blog. It is extremely humbling to have people contact me and say it provoked something in them, or that they could relate to it. I have spent too many years hiding from myself and others, through fear of hurting them or being hurt myself, so it is nice to get my ramblings out there and share my identity.
I have now reached week 7 of no medication, a choice that I made as what I felt was best for me and one that will allow me to die with a little dignity when the time arrives. I know that for some people, it would never be the right choice and I totally respect their decision to continue with medication. They will hopefully, if terminal, be surrounded by the people they love and who love them, either in their own home or hospice and it will happen peacefully. Mine will be different and again, it is my choice to make and make it I will.
The alternative therapies are going nicely, with reflexology, aromatherapy, Reiki and magnets all being used to their full effect. I did not go back to pilates, not because I did not like it but I can not bring myself to do it in a group situation. Hopefully, I may find one to one sessions. Even with the alternative therapies, I have had some issues this week that made me want to go back on my decision, but only for five minutes. If I get a headache or any other pain or ailment, the moment I reach for a codeine or paracetamol, my body will immediately crave something stronger, which is something I am not willing to do.
Physical pain is almost manageable, just, but the stress a family, particularly a very uncaring and disjointed one can bring upon you, is far worse, as it rips in to open wounds like salt. I unfortunately experienced that again in this last week with my younger brother and mother trying to interfere. I wish I could say it was out of love but know full well it is about my will and future plans for my daughter. The prodigal son, otherwise known as 'Golden Child' has not bothered for 5 years, so why now???
Enough of the whinging, I hear you cry, and I agree. There are far too many positives that I can take from each day, to allow myself to be dragged down to the depths they want me at.
Like, made the first taster batch of Christmas chocolates. They will be sent to my chosen tasters on Monday for approval and all being well, will be available for purchase around the first week of November onwards.
Like, being able to spend quality time with people that I want in my life, although not unfortunately all of them but not through lack of want on either part, just time and life can get in the way.
Like having so many caring friends on here, who help far more than they probably realise.
Like, getting others to dance with their day and appreciate it only ever comes round once.
I apologise for the family vent of hurt and frustration and promise to keep it off my blog from this point on. Hope it does not deflect too much from anything else I have said here and that you will not all abandon the blog. I appreciate and value your participation.
David xxx
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