When I started my blog, my sole purpose was to be honest with what was happening with me with regards my illness, in the hope that by doing so, I might help just one other person.
I have spoken about my decision to come off medication and withdrawing from medical support. I have tried to look at the financial costs and implications of complimentary medication and supplements. I have explained the 'dark' feelings and an inability to have people close to me.
The one thing I never intended to do with my blog, was to upset anyone. Unfortunately, I have found out this week that in writing my blog with such honesty, I have been upsetting my estranged daughter. I did not even know she could or would read them, after all, she does not follow me on any social media forum.
For that reason, I am taking the following decisions. I have cancelled all health appointments, I don't want to be timetabled and I will know myself when things are changing and will shout out for those I need at that time, in the hope they will be there. I know this will bitterly disappoint some people but it is far easier and less stressful for me to not be put under the microscope, so I am sorry. I know One Day I Will Fly Away and I am not trying to hide from it but knowing the when will just cause too much hurt and depression, especially as I am now at the end of my initial prognosis. I know my life has been extended because my best friend took the decision to move me to Hertfordshire at a time when I could barely make a decision for myself and will love her forever for her intervention and her friendship.
My second big decision is to discontinue my blog from this point on. I am sorry again for those who have taken some comfort or level of understanding from it but the fact that my daughter is accessing it and it is causing her upset, is something that I, as a father can not deliberately do.
I want to thank each and every one of you who has ever read and retweeted my blog. I could not have communicated with so many people and received so much support. I will still happily talk with anyone about the issues of living with a terminal illness, but this will be done in private. Just drop me a DM or send me a text or an email and I will come back to you
David Lewis xxx
Wednesday 19 February 2014
Tuesday 4 February 2014
A guess is just that
Think it is only apt with today being World Cancer Awareness Day that I release this weeks blog. There are so many people out there who live with this disease now, have had to lose people to it in the past and are fearful of it for the future.
However, there is so much good research going on around the world that I hope this number becomes less and less, despite recent reports saying that more and more people will have cancer. One is a guess (the more bit) and guesses can be wrong.
Which brings me to me. We are now in February and in general, I am feeling pretty good. The pain level is still strong and I have to admit, I have allowed the doctor to prescribe a nerve inhibitor to see if that can bring an element of relief. Apart from that, the main thing is fatigue and I am having to force myself to rest and not feel to guilty about it. Must admit, six months ago, I did not think I would see February, now my sights are on spring (small goals). The good thing will be that people wont have to wrap up so much and even more so if I can swing it to summer. Again, the original prognosis is really a best guess, so sorry if I am not going fast enough for some people.
Last thing on this bit is when it does happen and you get the funeral details, can I please say, no flowers. In fact, if anyone wants to make a lasting contribution, then please make a donation/commitment to harrisonsfund.org I know it is not cancer related but it is a charity that I support and would like to think some of my friends will carry that on.
Away from the cancer still nothing from my daughter and I am coming to the conclusion that no matter what I or anyone else does, this is not going to change. Thank you to everyone who has supported me in my efforts in trying to get a relationship going again, it has been very much appreciated.
I have made a limited number of boxes of chocolates for Valentines Day and will take orders until the 9th February but I realise that not everyone celebrates this and I do believe it is far too commercial. That is not to say that I am not loving or romantic. Given the right circumstances and the right person :)
And an update on my ongoing battle with Interparcel and City Link. My MP and Trading Standards are taking the matter up. I am not expecting to win the battle but hope to cause a few injuries along the way.
I have also noticed this week that a lot of people who were always on twitter and up for a laugh and chat are missing. Where have you gone?? Come back xx
Sorry, not a long blog this time round, hope for something more interesting next week.
David xxx
However, there is so much good research going on around the world that I hope this number becomes less and less, despite recent reports saying that more and more people will have cancer. One is a guess (the more bit) and guesses can be wrong.
Which brings me to me. We are now in February and in general, I am feeling pretty good. The pain level is still strong and I have to admit, I have allowed the doctor to prescribe a nerve inhibitor to see if that can bring an element of relief. Apart from that, the main thing is fatigue and I am having to force myself to rest and not feel to guilty about it. Must admit, six months ago, I did not think I would see February, now my sights are on spring (small goals). The good thing will be that people wont have to wrap up so much and even more so if I can swing it to summer. Again, the original prognosis is really a best guess, so sorry if I am not going fast enough for some people.
Last thing on this bit is when it does happen and you get the funeral details, can I please say, no flowers. In fact, if anyone wants to make a lasting contribution, then please make a donation/commitment to harrisonsfund.org I know it is not cancer related but it is a charity that I support and would like to think some of my friends will carry that on.
Away from the cancer still nothing from my daughter and I am coming to the conclusion that no matter what I or anyone else does, this is not going to change. Thank you to everyone who has supported me in my efforts in trying to get a relationship going again, it has been very much appreciated.
I have made a limited number of boxes of chocolates for Valentines Day and will take orders until the 9th February but I realise that not everyone celebrates this and I do believe it is far too commercial. That is not to say that I am not loving or romantic. Given the right circumstances and the right person :)
And an update on my ongoing battle with Interparcel and City Link. My MP and Trading Standards are taking the matter up. I am not expecting to win the battle but hope to cause a few injuries along the way.
I have also noticed this week that a lot of people who were always on twitter and up for a laugh and chat are missing. Where have you gone?? Come back xx
Sorry, not a long blog this time round, hope for something more interesting next week.
David xxx
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