My Friends, I Could Not Do Without You

I have been asked by a few people over the last couple of days as to how I manage, being on my own most of the time, saying that they would be the other way and surround themselves with friends all the time. It was a hard decision to make, I must admit, probably even harder than it was to make the decision to come off the mind numbing medication.

However, until you have been in the situation where you see a certain look in a friends eyes, not pity, not fear, not panic but something in between all of these, can you honestly make that decision. What you need are people who come in and out of your life, while getting on with their own. People who can be there for you when you really need them but treat you no differently just because you are having a bad day or the pain is a little worse.

One of the things my best friend thinks she wants, is the knowledge of what signs to look for if my condition worsens but I know, that once she is fully armed with that information, she will spend any of the time we get together, looking for these signs rather than just enjoying the friendship, having a laugh and putting the world to rights. I also don't want to be on some timetable, ignorance is bliss after all. My supposed consultant obviously feels the same, as the next available appointment is 18th March or I could go on a daily cancellation list. Um, the hospital is in Middlesex and they expect me to answer a telephone call and make my way down there. Don't think so!!

On the health front, I agreed to go back on muscle relaxants but after a few weeks I have decided to discontinue them, as my mind was starting to cloud again, muscles that I did not want to relax decided they would and my sleep patterns were awful. On the positive side, if it is the muscle relaxants that make me like that, I might be able to try pain killers on their own, something I will discuss.

Away from health, as many of you know, I have decided to make some Taste of Love Valentine chocolates, mainly to compensate the costs of replacing the damaged items by City Link, who admitted they were at fault but have said they will not compensate !! If you are interested in some of these totally unique chocolates, I need orders in by the 9th February. You get 16 handmade chocolates that taste of love plus 2 melting chocolates, filled with essential oils that, well, TASTE of LOVE :)

I have still had no contact with my daughter, not through want of trying on my part, but did see a recent photo on a family members facebook page, so if it is okay with you all, I will leave you with that, as the hope of some sort of reconciliation is still one of the main things that keep me going.